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How do i tell her

 I think she believes that I loved her only for the shape of her body, as if affection were a hunger, as if closeness were a theft. How do I explain to her that I fell for the things she herself never noticed? I fell for the nights she stayed awake for me, when the world slept peacefully and she chose exhaustion over silence, choosing my voice over her rest. I fell for the days that meant nothing to anyone else the hours wasted on nonsense, laughter without reason, conversations that solved nothing yet somehow held everything together. I fell for the quiet soldier in her, the one who never announced her strength yet stood beside me every time I collapsed, steady as ground beneath shaking feet. I did not fall gently— gravity forgot its mercy. So hard that even my name slipped from me, so hard that I remembered only hers as if identity itself were negotiable in the presence of someone like her. I signed my heart in her name without asking for ownership, only praying she would never t...
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11:11

 Eleven eleven, Make a wish. With no second thought, I used to wish for this: To wake up in your bed. to look into those beautiful blue eyes, and let them shush the voices in my head,  let them end all the begs and cries. to caress your cheeks, to kiss your lips– to tell you I love you until it's cliché. But now i've stopped. I've stopped, wishing for that on the spot. It isnt even at the top of my head, and I wish to forget you instead.
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Tell me now

What makes you smile every day, Is it the mask that hides decay? A fleeting spark, a hollow gleam, Or the remnants of a broken dream? Is it the sun that burns the sky, Or the thought that someday you will die? Is it laughter carved from pain, Or dancing shadows in the rain? What makes you frown when the dark returns, Is it the silence that always burns? The echoes of words you’ll never say, Or ghosts that follow and never stay? Is it the weight of time on your spine, The taste of rust in an aging wine? Is it the mirror that tells no lies, Or the truth that hides in your weary eyes? Between the smile and the frown you wear, There’s a void that whispers, “Nothing’s fair.” You laugh at dawn, but by dusk you drown, What makes you smile… will make you frown. And in that chasm, cold and deep, Your secrets rot, your shadows creep. The grin you wear is a sharpened blade, And every joy… is a masquerade. So tell me now, before you break, What makes you smile, for heaven’s sake? And when the nigh...
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To my future self

 I wish you the best. I used to wish you'd be dead. But now I love you Hopefully your head doesn't feel like lead Hopefully you have friends with you I hope you have people you care I hope you aren't as low as I am And I hope you have someone there. I look forward eagerly Because I believe in you  I don't quite trust myself but I think I'll be happier in your shoes.
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My moon

 I'm here, sitting alone and crying,  Wondering what went wrong. I'm here, thinking and thinking,  How much I miss her tone. It was beautiful, like music to my ears. When I'm writing this, my eyes full of tears. The rain keeps going, and the thunder too, Making me remember, the times that were fun, and bad too. I miss her so much it hurts,  Give me another chance, so you can be my moon.  I don't need them hundreds like Jupiter, lost in a distant, bright sea, I just need the gravity of your small moon, to set the tides inside of me. A single light, close enough to guide the dark path beneath my feet, Not a star that burns and then is gone, but a constant, faithful, gentle heat. I want you as my moon,  Please. Come back to me soon.
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The New Orbit

The rain stopped. It was quiet now. Then I heard the click of the door downstairs, somehow. A sound I thought I'd never hear again. I got up fast, hoping it wasn't just my head. And standing there, wet from the roof above, Was the soft light of the one I love. You didn't talk. Your eyes said everything true, The gentle sadness I knew so well in you. You walked across the room, past the chair where I cried, And stood right next to me, at my side. "I felt you pulling me back," you said, your voice very low, The music I'd missed for so long, you let it flow. You reached out, your hand slow and unsure, The only touch my wild heart could endure. My world was messy, spinning without a plan, Until I looked for your small, steady hand. You smiled then, a soft, small curve, The bright beacon that my life will always deserve. And then came peace, a constant, gentle heat, A light to fix the cold and make us complete. The dark road ended, guided by your face, We fell toge...
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The Fading Light

The night is long, the silence deep, A solemn promise I couldn't keep. I trace the rim of an empty cup, Wishing the memories would finally stop. They flood the room like a swollen river, A bitter taste that only makes me shiver. I search the clouds where you used to hide, A perfect circle that stood by my side. But the sky is black, a void of space, And all I see now is a vacant place. My small, sweet gravity, where has it gone? Leaving my soul untethered till the cold, harsh dawn. The tides within me have turned to storm, No gentle pull to keep me warm. My world spins wild, without a center true, All because I lost the light that was you. I was a fool to ever think I could roam, When your single beacon was my only home. I whisper your name into the pouring rain, A fragile plea to ease this aching pain. If you could just return, a glimmer, a curve, To mend the orbit of this love I preserve. I need that faithful, gentle, constant heat, To make my broken, lonely life complete. Be my ...
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